At the moment I am terribly confused and I don't know which way to turn. I am in a relationship which is not healthy at all. I am involved with a man who is married, although he is separated from his wife. According to him they are just friends, but why doesn't it feel like it? Maybe because they are still living in the same house. She is also seeing someone else. Anyway, the reason I am confused is that I feel this relationship is affecting my life on all levels, and not in a good way. I constantly feel angry and bitter, not just with him and the situation, but everything and everybody, even myself. Sometimes I just wake up angry with the world and for me being here. Sometimes I just don't want to be here, because it feels as if I am not really here for a reason.
I do healing work from home and this is the most important thing in my life at the moment. Everything went well until I moved into
my new home. All of a sudden doors just started closing and I am losing clients. I have no idea why or how to rectify this situation. This is so important to me, and I can't help but feel that the things in my personal life have a lot or everything to do with this. I constantly feel ill. Even though I know I should end this, I don't know how and I don't have the strength. And on some level it feels as if he is in my life for a reason, but what is that reason?
Hope you can help me.
I sense many things going on around you adding to your distress, all of them no doubt connected to each other. First, there is a dark cloud in and surrounding your house that I believe was there before you moved in. It is probably energy left over from previous tenants or seeping up from below.
Secondly, you have attracted some energetic parasites that are hanging on you and feeding on your frustration and sadness, making it seem a lot worse than it really is. These "beings" are sapping your energy in a big way.
Both of these situations can be worked on using energy clearing techniques such as burning sage, prayers, and intention. You must decide that you no longer want those energies around you, and rid yourself of them once and for all. Surround yourself with a bubble of white light several ties a day, and focus on changing your thoughts to positive subjects, using your will to restrain the mind.
Once you clean up and renew your energy field, you will be able to see clearly just what this relationship is about, and you will have the strength to deal with it. He is also sucking your energy, and it would be wise to cut the cords to him--literally and figuratively.