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Twin Flames In a Troubled Relationship? 

Dear Antera:
On your twin flames page you say it's rare for twin flames to be incarnated at the same time and stay together. Why? Is it possible for two people who are twin flames to have a lot of problems in the beginning to the point that it seems almost impossible to stay together, despite the fact that everything in their souls tells them that they are a part of the same "oneness"?

My boyfriend & I have known each other as acquaintances for 5 years. About 6 months ago we had our first real conversation and haven't stopped being together since. We are the same person in every possible way (which creates problems due to our own emotionally troubled childhoods) and know what the other is thinking and feeling at any given time.

I've never known a relationship more intense....or troubled, unfortunately. I'm sad most of the time because he's a very distant person, but I can't leave him....I've tried. I'm very independent and have never had trouble leaving a relationship, but when we're apart we both fall apart. I've never experienced anything like it. We're both highly spiritual and I know that we have a lot of spiritual growing to do.... I just don't know what to make of this or how to begin.

Thank you in advance for any help and insight you can give....


Dear Troubled,
You are right that most twin flame intimate relationships are so intense that the couples cannot stay together. This is true for some soulmate relationships as well. The partners are so close that anything between them other than love is intolerable, and this means that everything from the past will need healing. If the people don't have tools to help them work through all the pain it brings up without causing more pain in each other, they probably won't stay together.

This man is your soulmate, and you have unfinished business with him from the past. This karma has drawn you together to resolve those energies and to help heal each other in other ways. The situation will undoubtedly cause a lot of pain to come up, and if you have the tools for healing it, you will both benefit tremendously, giving you a giant leap in your soul growth. This requires both of you to agree to help each other through the painful emotions.

You are ready to tackle this, but he will take some convincing. It will require a lot of discussion, and a commitment from both of you to work through problems that come up, without blame, and while maintaining a flow of love. This is not easy! You are both working through a lot of repressed pain. It may be useful to remember that that you are never upset at what you think you are upset at, and to look at every upset as an opportunity to heal. The problems aren't really relationship issues, they are individual issues. However, both of you must be willing to work together on this.

I see that you are worried, and there is an urgent need for clear communication to dissipate the immediate difficulties, and to dispel fears. If you can't convince him to do his part in this, you may not be able to stay together for long. But I also feel a great energy brewing in your life that promises wonderful fortune and blessings for you, so I hope you can draw on that for inner strength and perspective.

Copyright 2000 by Antera, reproduction by written permission only.